Pastor’s Corner: “EASY TO UNDERSTAND; HARD TO DO”
Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT) – 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
I apologize ahead of time; today’s Pastor’s Corner is a little longer than normal, but the importance of the subject and I believe our current need necessitates a little more time and investment. Please, as you read today’s devotional, slow down and allow Holy Spirit to speak to your heart. We love and miss you all!
Google dictionary defines ‘forgive’ in this way: to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
Seems straight ahead and simple, right? All you have to do is just stop. Maybe not quite so straight ahead and simple as it seems on the surface. We live in a fallen world, and both Christians and non-Christians sin against each other. And very often in devastating ways. Even Christians fall into horrible sin at times and it can be life shattering when you are sinned against. Sin causes anguish, sadness, and misery. So when someone sins against you, I would not encourage you to just quickly and flippantly say, oh well, I forgive you, that’s ok and everything goes back to normal. Our society, even our Christian community has downgraded forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not a Band-Aid for a wound; that wound has to be recognized for what it is and grieved over, before forgiveness can be real, freeing, and lasting. To minimize someone’s pain with a “Hey, I’m sorry, friend” and perhaps even a quick prayer—without truly acknowledging any wrongdoing and its very real consequences—is an offense in itself. You may never receive a genuine apology from the offender, but what do you gain by allowing your wound to fester?
I grew up in a home where you hold onto offenses. You keep the hurts in little plastic bags so they stay fresh and time after time, you take them out, and relive the pain you felt as if it just happened. The question is not, did you get hurt? The question is, are you going to let the hurt harden you? Numb you? Suck up all your joy? Some people abandon the path of forgiveness because they perceive it to be impossibly steep. And it can be. So, let’s be realistic. True forgiveness is not possible apart from God. You may believe it is impossible for you to forgive the person who hurt you. In Luke 18:27, God says even the impossible is possible with God. Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things through Christ. God knows how difficult forgiveness is. Consider the following approach:
Step 1: Give God Your Hurts: When you’re hurting and you can’t seem to forgive someone because they are the one who caused your pain, what can you do with your hurts? You can stop storing them (in plastic bags to keep them fresh) and reliving the pain. Instead, picture yourself handing them over to God. His hands are large. He can handle anything you give him. When you can give God the hurts and face the pain they’ve caused you, you are one step closer to forgiveness. Remember, unwillingness to forgive can block what God wants to do in your life.
Step 2: Ask God to Help You: Enlist God’s help to forgive others. In your flesh, you want to pay them back. You’re afraid if you’re too eager to forgive, you’re saying the offense was no big deal. And when you get hurt, it is a big deal. God tells us in Jeremiah 33:3, that we can call to God when we need to, and he will tell us great and unsearchable things. Walking in true forgiveness is one of those impossible and unsearchable things that we need help with.
Step 3: Read Scripture & Stories about Others Who Have Forgiven: There are three very powerful instances in scripture that paint a portrait of forgiveness in action. As part of your own journey to forgiveness, give yourself time to read and explore these three biblical stories: -The story of Joseph: Genesis 50:15-21– Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane: Matthew 26:36-45 –Jesus on the cross: Luke 23:34
Step 4: Write Down What You’ve Been Forgiven For: To be in a place where you can forgive, it’s helpful to remember the things you have been forgiven. In Ephesians 4:32, God explains you forgive because you’ve been forgiven. Does the other person deserve forgiveness? No. But as you scan back through memories of your own life, and certain choices or actions, and begin to write them down, it may become apparent that there have also been times when you didn’t deserve forgiveness either. And yet, God forgives you completely.
Step 5: Pray for Whoever Hurt You: Our first instinct if we are even willing to pray for those who have hurt us is in order to punish and fix them. But the reality of praying for those who have hurt us is to heal and change us. Be gentle with yourself, and bear this in mind: If you cannot pray for the person who hurt you, then you are not ready yet to forgive. You need to keep praying for God to prepare your heart.
Step 6: Decide to Forgive: As love is a choice and not just a feeling, so is forgiveness. You need to decide to go past how you feel and to obey what God tells in scripture. It may seem like one of the hardest decisions you will ever make. Obedience is hard. And once God points out to you that you need to forgive someone, delaying is a form of disobedience.
“The key to forgiving others is to stop focusing on what they did to you and start focusing on what God did for you.” Look to the Cross!
In His Grace,
Pastor Hamilton & Family