Pastor’s Corner: “Impossible Forgiveness”
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) – Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Liberators found the following prayer crumpled among the remains of the Ravensbruck concentration camp where Nazis exterminated nearly 50,000 women: “O Lord, remember not only the men and women of goodwill, but also those of ill will. But do not remember the suffering they have inflicted upon us. Remember the fruits we brought thanks to this suffering—our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, the courage, the generosity, the greatness of heart which has grown out of this. And when they come to judgment, let all the fruits that we have borne be their forgiveness.”
I can’t imagine the fear and pain inflicted on the terrorized woman who wrote this prayer. I can’t imagine what kind of inexplicable grace these words required of her. She did the unthinkable, the impossible: she sought God’s forgiveness for her oppressors.
This prayer echoes Christ’s prayer. After being wrongly accused, mocked, beaten, and humiliated before the people, Jesus was “crucified . . . along with [two] criminals” (Luke 23:33). Hanging, with mutilated body and gasping for breath from a cross, I would have expected Jesus to pronounce judgment on His tormentors, to seek retribution or divine justice. However, Jesus uttered a prayer contradicting every human impulse: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (v. 34).
If you’re like most people, you might have some misconceptions about what it means to forgive. And, because you don’t understand forgiveness, you find it really difficult, maybe even impossible to forgive. As followers of Jesus, we need to understand forgiveness because the Bible clearly calls us to forgive. Galatians 6:1 (NIV) – says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”
The kind of forgiveness this woman displayed doesn’t make sense until you understand what you have been forgiven by God. Forgiveness truly is God’s master key. It is the most powerful life-transforming tool that we have. The forgiveness Jesus offers seems impossible, but He offers it to us. In His divine grace, impossible forgiveness spills free. So, once you’ve experienced God’s forgiveness, how do you forgive? You do the five things this woman did:
- Recognize no one is perfect. When you hate somebody, you tend to lose your perspective about that person. Resentment, bitterness, and hurt make you stop seeing that person as a fellow human being. You treat them like an animal. But the truth is everyone is in the same boat. The Bible says,“Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins” (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NLT). We’re all imperfect.
- Relinquish your right to get even. This is the heart of forgiveness. The Bible says, “Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it”(Romans 12:19 TLB). Even if you think you deserve to retaliate, don’t. If the hurt runs deep, you may have to commit over and over again to not getting even. But, no matter what, leave the repayment to God.
- Respond to evil with good. Humanly speaking, it’s nearly impossible to respond to evil with good. You’ll need God’s help. You’ll need the love of Jesus to fill you up. Why? “[Love] keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV). When you can respond to evil with good, you’ll know you’ve fully released someone from the wrong they’ve done to you.
- Refocus on God’s plan for your life. As long as you continue to focus on the person who has hurt you, that person controls you. In fact, it often goes a step further: If you don’t release your offender, you will begin to resemble your offender. So stop focusing on the hurt and the person who hurt you. Instead, refocus on God’s purpose for your life—his purpose is greater than any problem or pain you might be facing.
- Repeat these steps as long as necessary. Peter asked Jesus, “How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is seven times enough?”(CEV). Jesus replied, “Not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!” (Matthew 18:22 CEV). Sometimes forgiveness has to be continual.
Don’t sit another day in your resentment. If you’ve been holding on to pain caused by someone else, go through these five steps and move on to the life you were created to live! Because you’ve been forgiven by God, he expects you to forgive other people. He will help you work through your hurt and give you the grace to forgive those who’ve hurt you.
In His Grace,
Pastor Hamilton