Pastor’s Corner: “Pretending You’re Fine”
James 5:16 (NIV) – 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
“I’m fine.”
We’ve all said those two little words when we have actually felt quite the opposite. Most if not all of us have the tendency to present a put-together, perfect picture of ourselves to those around us, but pretending we are fine when we are broken and in need of help is really the antithesis of the Christian life and not helpful for our spiritual growth or the development of genuine relationships.
Imagine you are suffering from an illness or have a wound. You are sitting in the hospital’s waiting room, not telling anyone about your bodily injuries and ailments, pretending you are perfectly fine and have it all together. We would never do this when at the hospital taking care of our physical health, so why do we think it is good for our spiritual health to gloss over our brokenness and our spiritual needs and simply pretend we have it all together?
At church, we look around and may think all those people in the seats around us are holy, spiritual, and wise. They never use bad language, over-indulge at a party, get really mad at their spouse, yell at their kids, complain about their jobs, or watch junk on TV. Take a closer look. Each and every person sitting in those seats is human and has as many temptations, weaknesses, and personality flaws as you. If you come to church with this illusion, take the blinders off. If you come to church and try to create this illusion about yourself, take the mask off. The only way we can truly know each other as brothers and sisters in Christ is to be who we really are and let it show.
At church (and with church friends), more than any other place, we need to be real and seek authenticity in others. If people are putting you on a pedestal, you only have one way to go: down. If you are admiring or idolizing some “spiritual giant” you will surely be disappointed.
I read this from a Christian blogger this week (I love her honesty): I’ve gone almost my whole life feeling like a failure of a Christian. I always understood my spiritual success to be measured by an unspoken set of rules, and if I did ABCD, I’d be considered a good Christian. I knew everything about how to appear Godly — how to act, how to worship, pray, respond with “God” answers, etc. I wanted to fit in with the Christian community, but somehow never felt good enough. Eventually, this false me took over completely and I lived in it fully, deceiving even myself at times. In this existence, I always experienced a significant amount of spiritual envy. I looked at the people around me, wondering what the secret was, how they could be experiencing God so intimately. And I lived with fear. Fear that people might see right through me. And now … I’m done. The façade of “everything being great, I’ve got it together, I’m a really spiritual person, etc” is exhausting. For the first time in my life, I believe I’m experiencing freedom in Christ, freedom from guilt and freedom in who I am. … My time with God might be a little unconventional, I might go through phases where I feel like an inconsistent mess, and I WILL make mistakes — but it’s okay not to be fine all the time and be honest about my struggles. This is the place where God’s unconditional love acceptance and healing are the most powerful!
The solution to all this pretending we are tempted to live in is to develop true honesty: honesty with God, honesty with each other, and honesty in any leadership role we may have. Galatians 1:10 (NIV) – 10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
As we open our lives up and let God’s light shine on it for others to see, they will be more inclined to reciprocate. Timothys will ask for guidance and Pauls will freely offer wisdom as Christ-centered friendships emerge. Mistakes and failings make us “experts” in helping others avoid the same pitfalls. Only then does the Lord see us as genuinely seeking holiness. That is the measure of real faith and the beginning of spiritual freedom.
In His Grace,
Pastor Hamilton